Does this title sound ominous? It is meant to because sometimes times really are tough and you wonder: How do I handle this one?
Fits. They happen. Shoot, we have them too (in our minds and maybe we really do want to act out and &*^))^^%, but we don’t). Tatum has moments of these little “I want my way!!!!” The straight out, “NO, Tatum, it’s not going to happen and please don’t ask me again.” She is a tenacious little bulldog and continues to ask ask ask. How to handle it is the burning question.
Here is an example of a maybe minor case, but it can signify a bigger one to come if we don’t put the kibosh on the behavior.
I was very preoccupied on Wednesday. My plate was fuller than I could handle, and I didn’t pay as much attention to her as I usually do. I was sitting on her bed (so at least I’d be with her), and I was working. She was carrying books onto the bed and “knicked” her finger. All of sudden, she started to cry. Now, I knew it was not a real sore because 1. She was not bleeding and 2. There was NO mark.” She kept trying to show me how red it was by squeezing it. Aye.
OK, so she wanted a bandaid. Now, mind you, she can find a reason for at least ONE band-aid per day, and I’m finding myself having to buy bandaids almost weekly. It’s a bit ridiculous. I finally put my foot down last night and just said, “NO” to the bandaid. (I’m going to have to take out a second mortgage with all the exciting bandaid designs I have purchased).
Tears tears tears…. “PLEASE!!!” (This was repeated probably 20 times).
Now, all the perfect mommy’s out there would say, “OH, well, I would have done this or that” but at that moment, I was like…I cannot give in to the NO, but she can’t keep asking me. I told her I’d throw out the band-aids if she asked me again. She was quiet. Then I let her cry and cry as I went into my room to let her cool off.
I heard her praying out loud: “Jesus, please help me!” This made me melt.
Finally, I entered her room after it was quiet, and we had a chat cuddling on her bed. We talked about being a good steward of what we have; we talked about how important it is to cry, but after a bit, it’s time to think about what we are trying to gain. Is it working? We talked about how much I love her and how if she is ever hurt, I’m there for her. I would never ignore that. I told her I know I was busy today, but sometimes Mommy has to work more than others. She got it. Really.
She said, “Mommy, don’t leave my bedroom; just lay with me.” I did for awhile, and she said, “Mommy, I love you with all my heart; I’m sorry I had a fit over a band-aid.”
OH, it’s a daily AHA for me. A daily AHA of how much I love her and how, through the daily tiny struggles, I find myself loving her more. I think she is experiencing this as well.