Lessons in Love

There are times when the learning curve is steep in life. Things just don’t go the way you would like, and you find yourself down and frustrated. You also find that it’s just a bit harder to communicate which includes being heard.

See these two little chicks? They just aren’t communicating! What is going on??

Such has been this week with my Tot. Her choices have been opposed to what God would smile upon in terms of kind communication, attitude and obedience. A lot of hurt took place, and she knew how it affected me and others. She felt it. Privileges were removed, yes, but instead, I decided to focus on what she was doing right and make a big deal of it. I also focused on God’s love for us and how we can return that overflowing love we are given: GIVE IT BACK TO OTHERS and HIM.

For example, she got out of the pool the first time she was asked, and with a happy attitude. Tatum, I love how you were quick to listen! I appreciate that. BOOM. Changed the tone of the afternoon.

The past few days have been wonderful. She is showing gratitude, and she isn’t asking me for something I may have put away for a surprise. She accepts the situation and realizes there are consequences good and bad to her actions. Very powerful.

We are communicating like these two little chicks. Lovingly and with kindness.


I love you, Tatum Knight. Each day is a new day filled with lessons from mistakes from both of us. We can only control our own actions. I choose LOVE which means this is what fills the tones of our voices and the way of the day.

 

SpiderGirl 2017

Halloween came and went in a flash, and this year another Superhero donned our presence.

 

SpiderGirl is here!

Hippie chick joined the fun. Someone had to, right?

Doug came and joined all of us as we collected candy and visited friends.

Of course mom and Batdog joined the chocolate hunt.

We’ve seen Minions, Batgirl, and now Spidergirl. Who could be next!!? Stay tuned till next year.

 

Kinder update

This little cutie had her first status report in Kinder. Mind you, all of the other kids are 5 and 6.

Her gross and fine motor skills are underdeveloped. Yep. AND, she does need to stay a bit more focused and not rush, but otherwise, she is doing swimmingly. I know she is kind to her classmates, she tries her best, and she is   a BEAUTIFUL  young girl inside and out.

Thank you PFT for being so good to my Tot.

My little sunflower created by God

Last month, Ms. V, Tatum’s teacher, told us that the kids would be performing a Creation Play to celebrate God’s creations. She assigned Tatum to be a flower. She was a bit sad because she wanted to be the son, but Anthony would be the sun. So, I suggested a sunflower.

My favorite flower is the sunflower and it’s not necessarily for its beauty. It just reminds me of my father. The last time I saw him, I brought him a bouquet of these bright flowers because they brighten up a room and are filled with joy.

According to proflowers.com, sunflowers symbolize” adoration, loyalty and longevity….. They provide energy in the form of nourishment and vibrancy—attributes which mirror the sun and the energy provided by its heat and light.”

I find that Tatum is much like the sunflower in that she is full of energy and joy, brightening up any room.

So I got her a costume and we were ready.

All the kids sat in a line. (note she sat next to the sun, Anthony!)

And it began:

Ms. V started in Genesis 1.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.

Slowly she went through each day, and the kids stood and said their part.

I’m a little sunflower created by God

Then the sun, stars, dragonfly (closest to a dragon for Ryder), kitty cats (Alice loves cats), cheetahs (they’re just fast and cool! The kids got to pick what animals and bugs to be), Adam and Eve.

Then they sang some wonderful celebratory songs about God’s love for us.

Deliciously delightful. I loved how each child had a chance to speak and present.

We love you, class and Ms. V and Coach Matt!

Noticing

Leaving for Louisiana means many things. First, I get the opportunity to speak to a group of soon-to-be teachers in Shreveport. It’s an honor to get to fly to a different place and encourage others.

This always lights my fire.

However, with traveling comes perspective. It also comes with noticing many things.

Thing 1: The south truly is hospitable. Everyone from the TSA agents to the hotel attendants are beyond kind. They make you feel special.

Thing 2: What happened to conversation and playing? Cell phones and tablets have replaced eyeballs looking at each other to converse and kids playing with toys. Moms now tote only an iPad and headphones to allow the child to tune out and be completely distracted. No imagining. No creative play. No coloring. Just stare at a screen. In fact, that is pretty much all I see on the plane and at the airport: A bunch of screen-crazed zombies.

Thing 3: I have a very kind, giving boyfriend. He did more than I could have imagined to make sure Tatum was taken care of. He picked her up and took her to his house for a game of LIFE.

She got to take not only a bath but in a royal tub filled with cups and salad bowls. He makes her special meals and gives her lots of love in my absence.

She gets a special cozy bed at the foot of his bed.

She looks pretty darn content.

Thing 3: Did I mention I have a sacrificing boyfriend? He took the day off to make sure Tatum got to school on time and then picked her up for lunch and fun at the park.

I think she’s enjoying herself, yes? I’m very blessed and grateful.

Thing 4: Going away can be good for perspective. When I came home, I couldn’t wait to give my Tot a bigger hug and bigger kiss than usual. Doug deserved a huge hug, but I failed to show my appreciation as much as I should have.

The next day for Tatum and me  it meant the next day, we’d make it a fun day; I’d treat her to a special breakfast at Scramble ….


and a fun craft….

I’m glad that when my Tatum cannot figure out what to do, she chooses to pull out some books, lines up her dolls, and reads.

Noticing is good. I am one not to have my nose in my phone. I tend to notice. Lord, help me to notice more often, and not take anything for granted. This life is but a whisper.

Obedience is a choice

Today, I took it personally. Sure, we train our children up in how they should go, and they should follow every bit of it perfectly, right? Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work? (I know better).

If someone told me this, I’d say, well, sure, but nobody is perfect, and definitely children with undeveloped brains cannot do the right thing every single time.

Especially my sweet Tatum!

My sweet Tatum is human and definitely makes the wrong choice sometimes.

This morning when I picked her up fro m her Sunday school class, Holly, her teacher, told me she did not obey today, and it was the worst of the worst today. She did not sit during the lesson, she did not color when asked, and she just did not want to follow directions.

My heart sank. Really!?

The car ride home was pure silence. Tatum kept saying, Mommy, I feel so sad. All I could say to her was, We will talk when we get home. I want to look at you.  

We went right upstairs and sat in her room. I talked to her about why we obey.  Why do we even go to church? Why do we do the right thing? All of her answers revolved around because God loves us and we love Him.

I don’t want her to obey or do the right thing for me or because I tell her to. No. I want her to understand the bigger picture. It pleases God. It makes him happy. It shows we love Him when we follow His direction; when we obey our leaders; when we are kind; when we respect others. She gets this, but she doesn’t always make the right choice.

Well, bingo. We don’t as adults either, but the key is how do we handle it after.
How do we repent and TURN from it and change? We do what Tatum and I did.

We prayed. We asked for forgiveness. We asked for help in changing. We asked for our ways to be like His ways. We also will…NO, she will seek out Holly, and will ask for her forgiveness.

She lost some privileges for the week. Some big ones. But, I think it made an impression on her. I cannot take it personally. I can only do my best as her Mommy. I love that little girl with all of my heart.

 


This child…It’s amazing how she is growing. It’s hard to believe that she is almost five. She is becoming a little-big girl with a vivid personality. Lively, bubbly, and STRONG. Being her mom is the biggest joy, and I only see it growing.

She decided she wanted to have a dog-themed birthday party. Hoping to invite dogs, we made some fun dog crafts.

Not sure how the dogs would do with cake and treats all over the table. Maybe Max and Otis can come (see above). OK, Mommy. 

Back to what I was saying. Our interactions continue to grow because if ever there is tension or any negative reactions, we “talk it out” as she likes to say. She even is using this strategy with her friends at school. Like I said, the joy of being her mom and watching her blossom has to be the most precious part of my life. I’m honored.