Tatum’s LOVE day. Officially my TOT!!

August 22nd, 2012, a phone call changed my life forever.

Do I want to a child? Do I want a newborn baby? Is that a question you can answer without tons of prayer and consideration? However, if you say “No, thank you,” then will it be a regret for the rest of your life? I coulda…. I shoulda….. What if I….. Haunting questions.
When I dreamed about being a mother, it was a far fetched vision, because I was never in the right situation to be a parent.  A child needs a mother and a father; these thoughts pervaded my mind as I grew up under a single parent. Then, when I got married, I knew we would be parents. But time kept ticking away, and the marriage slowly disintegrated. Hence, the dream of being the 1/2 of a parental unit faded fast. Being single in your 30’s, you decide that it will just happen in God’s time; you don’t even question its possibility; you just know it will happen.

The pool of candidates to date drained fast, and boyfriends came on strong. Some were more close to the “one” than others, but I clung to hope. It had to happen! How could it not?

Fast forward to the fffff.ffff.ffff…forties. What? I’m what? Marriage was much more of a possibility with some of the nice guys I started to date. But being a mother? Hmmmm. Not so much. Those darn eggs expire much sooner than our male counterpart’s parts. Also, most of the men are either already fathers or have no desire to be one. My dream shifted; Perhaps I’d be a great stepmom! Yes, that is perfect. I will step in and be that “other” parent. How complicated could it be?  It was not His plan at this time.

When a relationship ended about two years ago with a man who wanted no children, I had a wake up call. This mom thing is not going to happen the old-fashioned, traditional way. It’s going to require me to take some action and then let God figure out the results. Around February of 2012, a dear friend opened my eyes to the concept of fostering a child. Now, for some reason, deep down, adopting a child had ALWAYS been something I desired to do someday. In my opinion, taking in an unwanted child is the greatest form of love; he/she is TRULY chosen and WANTED! So, I began the process of researching this; it was only in the genesis of this process did THE phone call in August occur.

And so it began…the adoption process. I think it is good that I had NO idea how much work the process can be because I probably would have thought I could not do it. The amount of paperwork, background checks, visits, money and time it takes would scare off anyone. But, God had another thing in mind. He made the process so darn simple, that when people told me the horror stories, I could not relate. Also, the birth parents were so amenable to this  process which made it even more shockingly easy.

When Tatum was born on November 22, 2012, the “official” adoption day seemed like an eon away. Also, she was with me from the minute she came out of the womb, so she always felt like my daughter; we had an incredible bond. Today, May 23, 2012, one day after her 6-month birthday, I entered the courtroom to become her official mommy.

My court representative asked me my name, address and a few other simple questions. Commissioner Rummage (the judge) spoke, “Tatum Isabella Knight is now officially your legal daughter.”

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My mom has been with me through thick and thin, and I’m honored and blessed by her. IMG_2449

Nancy Ledner, Dick and Marilyn Jordahl, my mom and I teared up and smiled.

Without the constant love and support from a LONG LIST of people, I could not have done this.

Little Tatum, I love you with all my heart. May angels surround you, and may you be filled with knowledge of how special and loved you are. May God light your path, and may you have knowledge and passion for your FATHER and a relationship with Him through Christ.

Photo on 5-23-13 at 11.52 AM #5

 

 

6 Months and Size 2 by Tatum

Today, I am 6 months OLD! Can you believe I have come this far. I barely fit into my BUMBO! My legs are really filling out. It’s a good thing I have my little birdy blanket to keep me comfortable.

Did you know I have graduated to Size 2 diapers now? Well, mom had to go out and buy some  new ones ASAP. You see, I’m erupting…literally exploding out of my Size Onesies. It’s no fun waking up the household at 1am because I’ve completely leaked all over my blankies.

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So, in the meantime, as I wait for my new diapers, I’ll enjoy an appetizer of fore and middle fingers. I sure wonder what else I could put in my mouth?

 

 

 

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Gratitude, Grumbling and Grace

Today, in my Bible Reading on YouVersion, I read Exodus 15-17. Although, I have read these passages numerous times, and not to mention a whole movie was made about the parting of the Red Sea, this time it struck me: We go from gratitude to grumbling often in our lives. God then provides so much grace.

Case in point: Miriam sings: “Sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea.” (21) They were all filled with such thankfulness for God’s provision of escape and the destruction of the Egyptian followers. THEN the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” (25) Moses cried to the Lord and He made the water sweet. He provides even after we complain.

It did not take long for them to FORGET God’s miracle of the Red Sea parting. Upon even providing water, He makes for them “a statute and a rule, and there he tested them, saying, If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer.”

It’s not rocket science…We forget WHO is our HEALER!; We forget WHO is our PROVIDER!> In fact, he provides manna for JUST THE DAY, and yet they still try to hoard and save for the following day. The manna becomes worm-infested and inedible. They had no FAITH.

 

What a lesson. God provides an incredible blessing in my life: TATUM! Yet, sometimes, I grumble and complain. May I remember the blessing of her presence when she cries non-stop. May I remember having FAITH in HIM when I don’t know what to do. His grace is sufficient for all that occurs.

I love you Tater Tot.

I’m a fuddy duddy

Ok, so I think I’m getting officially old; perhaps it’s because I am a mother now, or perhaps it’s because I teach kids. Yesterday, the Super Bowl half time show was less than appealing. What has happened to our society? Why is it that entertainment these days has to push the sexual envelope?

I know that the Super Bowl has viewers who are KIDS. Do they need to see scantily clad woman gyrating their hips and (oh, were they singing? I don’t think people noticed that part.)

Dennis Prager talked about the degradation of the arts, and it’s not just in the movies. I worry about the values which are being communicated to our kids.