Today, I worked at my school, even though I’m not supposed to be there quite yet. Being on one foot definitely is so much more difficult when trying to work. It is amazing how little I can actually do, so it is good I am not full time quite yet. This is going to be harder than I thought, but I have to have grace with myself.
There are so many projects for which I must handle that I need to be there for a bit. This means taking Tatum to daycare, and this is when I truly struggle. On one hand, it’s so nice to have that time where you can just focus and not worry that her needs are not being met. Then the other side of me, the pride side, says, she is going to forget me. Hogwash right?
At least when I was crutching around campus, the 8th grade students were headed out to a field trip. All were seated in the courtyard, and they all noticed me at once. The sea of faces was right in front of me, and I teared up. I really have missed being there. I have missed learning with them and teaching them. So, the argument in my head begins. Do I have guilt over not giving enough time to my daughter, or do I fret over not being a present educator? ….at least now. This seems to be the battle for which many face.
These next few weeks, I must make the most of my time while I am at school, and then at home, I capture every second with Tater (and Coti!). The Lord is my strength. He is in charge. I do the best I can do and leave the results to Him. He knows my heart, and I pray Tater will too.
At least she seems to be enjoying her time at daycare.